How My Healing Journey Began by Nancy Moelk
- June 14, 2015
- Posted by: Nancy Moelk
- Category: Blog
Years ago, I faced a crisis in life where every area of my life seemed to be a wreck.
I was depressed and anxious and on several meds. We were poor and without prospects for good jobs. (In 1986 we made about $11,000 for a family of six) The children were not getting great attention and care from their emotionally distraught mother.
I had little or no parenting skills. My children ages 0-8 were already showing signs of my mistakes! We had no savings, no car, nowhere to live having just come home from 7 years of missionary service. For three years after our return home I lived in a daze and just getting through each day was a challenge. I can remember driving in my car and doing the only things I knew to do. One was to go through everything I had to be thankful for and speak out loud an acknowledgement of that.
“Thank you Lord that my children are healthy. Thank you that today we have a place to live and food to eat. Thank you for the opportunity to be alive and to know you. Etc.”
The other was to use my faith and “walk on water” in my expectation of how good and smart God was and how incapable and insufficient I was. I would say almost every day, “God, I have no idea how you are going to do it. But I believe that you can save me out of both the mental and emotional darkness that surrounds me and you can fix my family in all the ways that they need help even though I don’t have the know-how or resources to provide this for them. Somehow, someway, you will meet our every need in time. You will restore our souls and we will come to see the goodness you offer here in the land of the living.”
To this day, thirty years later, I tell those who come to me for ministry this story and encourage them that no matter what your situation, background, emotional/psychological state—no matter what you know or don’t know about God—you can use your will to believe that God is with you and going to help you with everything that you need over time and as you are able to receive it. “For He has given us everything we need for life and godliness in Christ Jesus our Lord.” And “Faith is the expectation of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” And “God who began this good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Take Him at His word and then be prepared to wait for His timing.
Around that time a friend of mine invited me to attend an inner healing seminar and offered to pay my way. Dr. Mario Rivera led the weekend and he taught something there that changed the course of my life. Two of his key phrases were “You don’t have problems, you are the problem” and “when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, then we change.”
I was certainly in enough pain and discomfort to take on the pain of change. And I was filled with hope that I could be the problem and be in charge of doing things differently! So, I started a new way of living. The first thing I set out was that I was no longer going to blame anyone or anything for where I was at in life: not my parents, not the mission, not the church, not God, not my circumstances or luck, etc. I was taking responsibility for whatever was going on in my life and I was trusting God to help me find solutions for every problem and to begin living a life of continuous improvement. I took as a couple of life verses:
“Seek first the Kingdom of God and All these things will be added unto you.”
“For it is God who is at work in you both to will and to work His good pleasure.”
That meant I set my sights on knowing God better, following Him and whatever way He may lead me. That I would trust His love for me and my family in our broken state. Then somehow, someway, He had a solution for us if I would just follow whatever way He wanted me to go. Then the health and peace and relational balance that seemed so unattainable for me and mine would eventually come and everyone would be better off in the long run even if in the short run it was uncomfortable and difficult for me and for them. And that God was in charge of this process. I just had to follow and obey and hang in there the best I could knowing He was well aware of my flaws and weaknesses and could still work with me.
Recently a young mother came to me depressed because she felt she was failing as a parent. I let her rant for a while and then I gave her an alternate way of seeing herself and her life and children. I explained that everyone is a bad parent and no child will ever be perfect or perfectly raised. However, if we do the best we can with a belief that God is with us and will help us and our families and if we take responsibility for whatever we can do to bring solution and change, then we are living a winning formula and we are leaving a legacy for our children that they can follow if they choose. It paves a way for a dynamic lifestyle full of change and hope and untold possibilities because we have involved a loving and powerful Parent who has no limits to His resources.