Are You a Controlling Person?

Here is a self-examination quiz to help you see if you have the roots and practices of someone who is a “controlling” person.

1. I have a low opinion of myself and this blocks me from being able to easily receive the love of others or from God. This leaves me very needy.
2. I have difficulty receiving love and positive affirmation from others in a way that makes me feel wanted and cared for.
3. I feel alone and needy often and no amount of being with others seems to remedy that. I have a constant need to draw attention to myself even when giving to others.
4. Because of my neediness, I try to manipulate how others respond to me, how they feel about me and how they view me.
5. No matter how much I try to control my environment and those around me, I still feel unloved, unsafe and unfulfilled.
6. I have a tendency to blame my problems on others and hold it against them.
7. Much of my time and energy is focused on what is wrong with me, what is wrong with others and how people disappoint me and won’t seem to give me what I want.
8. When I pray, I use what I think is best to guide my prayers and seek to impose “my will” (with God’s help, of course) on others and situations.
9. I see my church or ministry as having the only or the best way of doing things and imagine God to be only as big as the revelation and practices of what “we do”.
10. We see our mission and existence as being more critical than following the leading of the Holy Spirit and seek to defend the survival of that “system” as more important than any other end.

How did you score?
1-2
Wow! You are pretty good at being you!
3-4
You could stand to re-evaluate the role you play in your relational problems.
5-6
You could benefit from examining the wounding in you that keeps you from being a good receiver.
7-8
Ouch! Your life must not be very fun. Look for help to restore your soul.
9-10
There is nothing wrong with you, it is everybody else who has the problem.

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